I find clothes shopping in Italy rough, and I know I'm not the only one.
It's not just the sales clerks that either (a) won't leave you alone to browse or (b) won't wait on you even when you ask.
It's more about finding the right clothes in the right style with the right fit at the right price.
Aw, I'm just going to say it: there isn't a pair of pants in Italy that I like, that will fit me, and that will not cost more than a plot of farmable Calabrian land.
No, I haven't scoured every store from the Alps to the Aspromonte, but I've been here almost four years, and I've never (that's mai) bought a pair of pants here. I've been able to get along with my basic, if somewhat outdated, wardrobe up until now, but another complication has been added to the mix.
Over this time, I've lost somewhere around 35 pounds (16 kilos) in total. It's been gradual because I haven't actually been dieting, per se. Eating better? Absolutely. Moving more? For sure. And so as my lifestyle has changed, so has my pants size, and as I realized last week, the old ones just aren't even passable anymore.
Isn't this supposed to be the fun part of losing weight--when you get to go out and buy new clothes in a size you never thought you'd see?
Yeah well, it hasn't been enjoyable for a variety of reasons, one being that I have no idea what size I actually am. Even in American sizes, I'm not sure, but at least I know what I'm not based on my current clothes.
Sure there are handy little online conversion charts to help, but you know what? Even when I try on pants of the European sizes I (allegedly) used to be (35 pounds/16 kilos ago), they don't fit!
Whahuh?
I've concluded that it's a problem of body type and shape rather than of size; for instance, if I find a pair of pants that fit my thighs and bum, the waist is enormous. Anything that would fit my waist requires squeezing my legs into them until my torso is held up by two salsiccie (sausages).
Not a good look on anyone, I don't think.
Then there's a little thing called "length" and Italians only believe in one, so it's off to the tailor's to spend more euros if you aren't whatever that height is!
And don't even get me started on the low-rise fad that won't die.
On that subject, let's talk a little more about la moda. Even if I could find a pair of pants that fit, finding them in a style I like would be quite difficult. Plain old jeans (oh, I don't know, like from the Gap) are hard to find. Many have sequins or other stitching to liven them up.
Apparently I prefer my jeans rather deadened.
I've never been a big fan of bedazzled anything, but now, pushing 31, well, I find such jeans even less appropriate (although many of my Italian colleagues older than me don't see a problem).
I haven't mentioned the cost yet, but believe me, clothes are not cheap here (except for the staples like socks and underwear which you can get at the weekly market). I'm simply not willing to spend a small fortune on a pair of slutty-looking jeans (yeah, I said it) that make it difficult to breathe and sit at the same time, all while showing the crack o' my bum to the world.
And so I'm stuck in pants limbo.
Ordering online is an option, but for how long it would take something to get here (if it arrives at all) coupled with how expensive it is to ship and, oh, have I mentioned that I have no idea what size I am? Probably not worth the hassle.
I think I just may have to spring for a cheap Ryan Air flight to London where it is rumoured (get it?) that women built like me exist.
Either that, or, fellow expat women, sisters if you will, it's time to start an importing business.
Che ne pensate?
(What do you think?)
Labels: shopping, uniquely italian, why do they do that
45 Comments:
You could try Diesel. It works for me. They are on the expensive side, but if you wear them over and over like I do, they are worth the price!
They have all kinds of different cuts. When I was in the store in Milan recently I saw different shaped women trying on jeans and they all pretty much worked and looked age appropriate.
Yep, been there...two market segments there in bella Calabria Britney Spears generation or Nonna wear...
my German MIL has to buy her clothes here when visiting. Strangely enough, my better half who is built like a troll- Calabrian mountain dwelling genes there overriding the German ones- can't find a pair to fit him here and always buys his in Calabria!
But sister- get your butt to Napoli!
Clothes are great there. Not to mention Feltrinelli-
Or Catania?- new Ikea to boot.
Anyway I'll send you a mail with another idea. We are heading your way in two months...
Love Gianna
I'm in the sisterhood. I loathe pants-shopping here. There is nothing more deflating than spending hours trying on pants that don't make it over the thighs. What idiot designs these things, is always my mantra while trying to yank them on. I finally find 2 pairs (count 'em, two!!) that fit AND weren't slutty nor for the vecchie donne, at Chopin in Rome (via Cola di Rienzo). I feel for ya, sister!
Congrats on the weight loss, though!!
I spent last weekend clothes shopping in London because I can't find anything that will fit me properly here in Paris. It drives my crazy that I live in the fashion capital of the world and yet I can't buy anything here.
Go to London or buy the best fitting trousers you can find and then get them altered to fit you perfectly.
I hate shopping for pants. I only have one pair of jeans that fits me, and it's from Eddie Bauer USA. If something ever happens to it, I might just get desperate enough to fly back and buy more.
ps I have to buy the relaxed fit:short length pants and I have never seen any in french stores, yet.
I will join the sisterhood, as I have a big a$$, big hips and tiny waist. I have left many stores crying, literally, after trying to find a decent pair of jeans. I actually found a pair the other day for 7 euors that actually fit me, BUT they are super long! UGH
I've only been here a year, but have managed to lose 7 kilos, so my clothes fit me all kinds of funny now. I will NOT spend ridiculous amount of money on clothing, as I like to bargain shop.
Try this conversion chart instead: http://www.thetipsbank.com/clothessize.htm
The one you linked to refers to European sizes such as the ones we use. I'm a 36 here but that would be size 40 in Italy.
Edit that, the conversion chart you linked to shows the "European sizes" used in Spain and Portugal. It's all very confusing. Forget about the size number, try it on instead.
Autumn, thanks for the suggestion; from what I've seen, Diesel does have a great selection, but I really can't justify spending that kind of money on a pair of jeans even if I would wear them all the time. If I were going to spend that much on anything, I'd probably just wear a sack and buy a whole load of books in English ;)
Gianna, thanks for the suggestion, but I know some expats in Naples who have issues too. Anyway, it's cheaper for me to get to London than to go to Naples! Rumor has it that an Ikea is coming to Catanzaro, though, so at least that's something ;)
Valerie, I'm glad you feel my pain. Well, I'm not glad, but you know what I mean,er, thanks for your support!
Andrea and Poppy, ah, so it's similar in France too! How frustrating for all of us then....
Giulia, same here with the length--if I find ones that fit everywhere else, they're insanely long. Also same here with spending on clothing; it's just something I've never done, so plopping down a couple hundred euros for one pair of pants just isn't going to happen. I have to save up just to get my hair cut ;)
Annika, before you wrote the second comment I was going to say that all the conversion charts are pretty much crap. Many say my shoe size should be a 40 here when I'm somewhere around 37-38 depending on the shoe...guess those are made differently for different feet too ;)
Anyway, yes, of course I try things on (have to here b/c goodness knows you'll never get a refund if you need to return something!), but it's so frustrating to not have any idea where to start. I have tried on things from 40-50 and have had varying success, which is ridiculous. And then sometimes even if things "fit," it's not my preferred look, and so back to the drawing board.
Mah.
My experience in the US is almost exactly the same as yours is there (except for the part where I lose 35 pounds), and I choose to believe it's due to clothing manufacturers messing with us. I think they get together annually to decide which of them will make all of their clothes suddenly huge and which will make their clothes toddler-sized.
As for jeans, I haven't been able to buy any in a while because I love pretty much only Levis 501s, but I went up an inch size in the waist a couple of years ago, and, for some inexplicable reason, they believe this also means that I want the lower legs to be wider as well. Not proportionally wider, but rather another full inch wider. I could retain water for a year and I still wouldn't have enough ankle to justify the cut of those jeans. This is why people become nudists.
That sucks to the 10th degree. If you could afford it, spring for the trip. It's totally worth it after 4 years and 35 lbs. gone. I hope that in London, H&M and Gap prices are similar to the prices in the US. Do they have an Old Navy there? Now that would be cool.
ps.. I'm drinking my iced coffee I made last night - thanks for the tip.
As you know, Michelle, I can really sympathize. I've got the same problem- I can never find a pair of jeans or trousers that fits everywhere. If they're big enough for my thighs and hips, the waist is enormous and they won't stay up, etc., etc. And spangles and sequins? Also not a fan.
I haven't found anything in Naples so far. I think it's time for you to take a trip to London!
Ha! Great post, Michelle, and great comments from everyone else. I am so sad we can't have more fun shopping, because it was my favorite pastime in the states. However, even there I have to try things on.
I did find a store in Lamezia the other day that looked promising. I haven't tried anything on, but the prices were good, as was the quality - not something you easily find here.
Do you think this is why so many of the uh, "older" ladies all wear dresses and skirts? It is easier on the ego?!?
I liked this post, it was funny and informative! I'll have to keep those in mind when I eventually get over to Italy! Thank you for your condolences about Harry, it was really nice to read your nice words of support!
I have almost given up buying any clothes from anywhere but Lands End (landsend.com). If you buy from their US website you will pay about 30% import duty when the package arrives, but it's still cheaper than anything you would find here. They have realistic size charts and live assistants who will text chat or even call you to help you find the right size. They have an electronic onscreen mannequin that you can size to your measurements and see how things will look, though personally I haven't found that terribly useful. They will hem trousers to the inseam length you request. They have petite to large sizes.
If a package simply never arrives (as happened with some expensive cashmere sweaters my mother-in-law took a fancy to in the catalog), they replace it for free. If you don't like anything, you can return it for a full refund (though you'll be out the shipping and customs costs).
Their jeans are great and come in a variety of styles.
Don't miss the overstocks section, which usually has something you can use at some ridiculously low price, e.g. cotton turtleneck for $5.
Another reason you should come to Canada. As if the sour cream, cheddar cheese and girl's night weren't enough. My Mom manages a clothing store and she would hook you up. I used to hate jeans shopping until she started working there.
The OG, well, regardless, I hope you don't ever retain water for a year. No jeans are worth it.
Bella, from what the say, the prices are comparable, so it just may be the way to go. Man do I miss Old Navy. In fact, that's where all of my dress pants (that no longer fit) came from. *sigh* I'll be posting about the iced coffee on here soon, so be sure to check back to extol my virtues!
KC, thanks for the support. It does sound awfully, I don't know, European to jet to London to do some shopping, so maybe it is a good idea after all ;)
Cherrye, was it at the Due Mari? The one day I was there a few weeks ago, everything was closed except the supermarket. Of course. And I think you're spot-on about the skirts/dresses thing.
Cyndi, thanks for coming by; hope you're doing better :)
Deirdré, wonderful advice! I've just recently been getting LL Bean catalogs here, and although their jeans don't speak to me, they do have some nice fleece stuff that isn't too expensive--and you're right, even with the import duty, it's still cheaper. Thanks for the tip!
Shan, and the list keeps on growing....
You're not called Sognatrice for nothing.Cheaper to get to the shops in London than Naples?
If only...
Reason being the slippery "from" in the fares From Ryan Air added to the ambiguity of "Stansted" belonging to London.
By all reports Stansted is nowhere near London and it costs an arm and a leg to get anywhere near shops from there...on the other hand,if you have someone to pick you up from Stansted feed you, drive you around and you only use your credit card, then you might have a case.
Mind you, London would blow you away after years in Calabria; you'd probably forget to buy clothes.
Sorry, a tune just won't leave my head. I know you've got a thing for daggy Hall and Oates music, so perhaps you like this one.
Supertramp," Dreamer "!!
Sorry, I'm off now...
I agree with the on line shopping but I'd suggest Landsend UK site and check out the clearance click on. (The € vs £ is better than the $ vs £). You might even want to sign up for a catalog. Right now I am waiting for a delivery from Orvis in the UK. They had a woven cotton short sleeved shirt sale last month. That is going to be my new addition this year. I have enough of those knit tops. Calcagno is a great shop. The styles are good and they have those *woman* sizes that are larger in the thighs and hips without that waist gaping thing. All my Italian peers are wearing that skirt and shirt uniform made out of synthetic fabric. I can't even think about this style and the fabric must make one sweat buckets.
And the female shape is certainly different here. They have more of a trunk shape. My son was trying to understand what the problem was with Italian women in jeans and that is what he discovered. They just need to be stretched abit in the midsection. The young girls are all rather lovely, tho!
I gave up buying any kind of jeans in Europe years ago...I wait until I go back to Canada. Even then it is an interesting story.......
Gianna, well, I do happen to have a friend in London, although I haven't run my idea past him yet; if all went well, I suppose I'd have transport and a place to stay. Anyway, a train ticket from here is about 25 euros, whereas a Ryan Air flight right now, including taxes, is 10 euros...quicker too :) And plus I wouldn't have to worry about Scampìa ;)
Sharon, thanks for the tip, and the trunk observation--gave me a good laugh :)
Rebecca, it is a losing cause, I know. Yet another reason I need to book a flight back to the States.
I once ordered a pair of pants from the mail. They looked beautiful in the catalog they sent me so I quickly marked off a size and ordered them without measuring myself. What arrived fit me in the waist, was tight around the butt and had legs that made me look like I was wearing a tent. I returned them (at my expense) and got a refund. The moral of this comment is that if you order on line/through a catalog be careful and measure.
Okay I live near 3 big malls in Los Angeles. At first I could not find a new pair of jeans to save my life. I'm only 5'2 but have an athletic build. I always get pants tailored so that is no biggee but I could not find any that would fit my waist (which is small) and my thighs (which are not).
I finally found an amazing pair of dark blue, medium rise jeans at Armani A/X. No sparkles or weird designs. They were only a few bucks more than what I would have paid at a Banana Republic or J. Crew. Maybe you can get a pair in Naples or online? I think it's worth it to pay a little more for jeans since they will last a long time and you will wear them often. Good luck with your search!
You've lost 35 pounds in Italy?? I am impressed. Must be all the walking, obviously, because the food you post always looks divine.
Good luck with the pants quest! (Sorry I have no advice for you on that.)
Try zafu.com. You put in all your measurements and they recommend jeans and styles to fit you. Some of them are quite reasonable like Lee and Levi's. Yes, they would have to be shipped in, but you wouldn't have to deal with London. I've seen great comments about them elsewhere on the internet, and the site recommended some of my favorite pairs when I put in my own measurements. It's worth a try!
I didn't know there was someone else who struggles with the same problem as me! I find it nearly impossible to find pants I like that fit properly and I live in Canada!! What fits the thighs and hips, too small in the waist...fits the waist, too big in the thighs and hips! Sick! I actually wear pants out before I go buy new ones, purely because I hate the process of eliminating all the pants that don't fit! Good luck with that, I'll cross my fingers for you.
I don't see how anyone could lose weight on Italian food. I weigh 100 pounds and could easily double it if I lived there.
I'm enchanted that you live in Calabria. When I was 22, I almost married a boy I met in Firenze, who was from Reggio Calabria.
We corresponded for a long time after I returned to NY in Italian (him) and (Italianate pidgin, me)as our only slightly common language was French, my French, his French-like pidgin. The only thing he knew how to say in English was Frank Sinatra, but he was beautiful.
I love your blog, and have bookmarked it for easy return.
OMG! 35 pounds!!!!!! Spend the money, woman! You deserve it.
Wow, 35lbs, I am super impressed!! I agree with the others...book yourself a trip! I have NOT lost weight in the 4 years I've been here. Anzi. :(
I go home and buy 5 pairs even if I think it's too many...it's never enough. I actually find that Benetton does well for sizes for me - even Sisley. Prices not too bad.
I am in the sisterhood. Let's import, baby.
Congratulations on the weight loss. It is fantastic that you have slowly lost it. Good for you.
WOW! I see this brought out a lot from all of us. Clothes and woman, go figure! Here I go.
I am the same as far as fit. I have a bum and a small waist. I've always had a bum, even at my thinnest so it's not going anywhere anytime soon.
I always have my trousers tailored and it's worth every cent. I have trousers that fit properly and I'm happy, rather than being preoccupied with the misery from wearing something you always have to worry about because they gap in the waist, don't lay right, etc. Is it possible to find a tailor in your area who has reasonable charges?
If you find a pair of trousers that fit well everywhere but the waist and perhaps the length, it's an easy fix for a tailor and highly recommended to grab that pair.
I agree with not wanting them so low your bum crack shows, that is simply not right and I never understand how a woman thinks it's attractive?
Happy hunting. I'm sure if you can just get your hands on a couple pair you will be pleased, even if you do end up paying more; in the long run you will be satisfied and if you are like me, you will wear them forever, or out, whichever happens first.
What do I think, sognatrice?
I think you should try living in Florida where everyone spends tons of time hanging out in a bathing suit!
You think shopping for pants is a pain in the bottom. Go shopping for a bikini that will actually COVER your bottom.
Ha!
Do you have any close relatives or friends that visit you regularly from the US? You could always ask them to buy some pants for you, then you will know your US size. Fortunately it's so easy to return things in the US that your friend/relative could just take the rejects back.
BTW, kudos to you on your weight loss! I don't know how you did it with all that yummy pancetta and carbonara that you cook. That's amazing.
JDoe, point well-taken. I used to order online a lot, but that was back in the States when returning was easier *and* I had some clue as to my size. Now I'm just worried I'll create an entire other hassle--not to mention receive winter clothes in summer, etc.
NYC, I'm 5'2" also! Yes, for all of the women who have trouble finding pants in general, I have to say I always had trouble in the US too; but it just seemed that at least I could find something and then stick with it. Here's it's been impossible. And I don't mind spending a little more for jeans, because I will wear them a lot, but a couple hundred euro? On Italian wages? Difficult to justify for me.
Stefanie, HeartinSanFran, Bongga mom, I think I've lost weight because of an entire lifestyle change, which for me means that I can eat good, tasty, "fattening" food and still be healthy--it's just that I used to eat a lot more snacky food, and just a lot more food in general (portion control is *real*). Also I drink mostly water, coffee, or fresh-squeezed juice and hardly any soda, no bottled fruit juice (never liked them anyway). The walking helps, but eating less sugary and processed foods has made the biggest difference for me, I think; between P and me, we usually cook twice a day! Plus there's next to no option of fast food (the only choice is McD's about a half hour away; I've eaten there twice in the past 4 years). So it's been a lot of things, and I'm not sure I'd be in the same position if I were in the US--too many temptations for my weak willpower!
Hoya, I love, love, love the site, thanks so much! For those of you who may have missed it in the comment, it's zafu.com . They ask you some questions and then tell you your perfect choices of jeans! I haven't gone through the whole process yet, but I'm very excited to see what comes up!
Erin, thanks for the support. Like I said somewhere else, I had problems even in the US, but I suppose I just feel more helpless here.
Hearts, I'm so glad you found me! You fell for a Calabrese...hmm...go figure ;)
Lacey, thanks! As soon as I find those pants, I'm on it!
MsA, yes, I have a feeling I'm going to go on a big of a shopping spree when I'm back in the States. The last time I was there I didn't want to get a lot because I had been losing weight, and figured I would lose some more. I was right, but now I'm just pants-less ;)
Cheeky, yes, I'm sure I can get my pants tailored for a decent price here; the issue is how much I'm already paying for the pants in the first place. And with jeans, even if just the hem is redone, I don't like them anymore, and sometimes with pants, it has the same effect. But I'll find something!
Somepinkflowers, a bikini? Hah! You're funny to suggest I'd even look for one of those ;)
Bongga mom, regularly, no, but I do have some friends coming in July that I'm going to have to hit up for a spot in their suitcases. Once I figure out a size and style that works, I'm going to be asking anyone I know who's coming as near as Naples ;)
Thanks everyone for all the thoughts and suggestions; it's really not that big a deal as I've never been a fashionista, but I had a feeling I wasn't the only one out there. Plus I've been dying to reference The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants for quite some time ;)
Completely agree. Count me in the sisterhood.
Me too. Being tall in Italy can really suck. Autumn - you're tall too - any other shopping tips besides Diesel?
So when are we going to organise that shopping trip to London?
Delina, Kataroma, more sisters! Woohoo! Would it be odd to organize an Expats GTG in Londra?
Sognatrice,
Man! Do I ever know what you mean! Same dilemma, different country. (And, I see from your many responses - we're *not* alone!) Alas, the same goes for tops here, in Germany, as bottoms -everything's so shiny and flashy and, if the clothes are more Banana Republicesque, then they cost a fortune. If you decide to try on-line U.S. shopping, I can give you a US address to have them shipped to, bring them back over for you when I return at the end of July, and plan another Badolato visit!! If they don't work, returning's a lot easier. Think about it.....you can't keep wearing those size whatevers for much longer ;-)!
I think you might be onto something with the overseas clothing network....
Ciao, ciao,
Wunschdenker
I'm with you on this one! Trust me...I love markets in Italy but can we please not have anymore super super low rise super super tight skinny jeans?! Enough is enough! Seriously though, take Ryanair to London. Emma could tell you where all the good shops are! Either that or maybe just a bigger city? I hear you though...jean shopping is not fun in Italia.
Wunsch, I just might be taking you up on that offer. Good thing I know where your inbox is ;)
Laura, it's an epidemic, I tell you. Stock up while you're in the States! Please!
Oh my...so it's not just England! I've had a horrible time with blue jeans here. I sympathize :)
I live in Norway, and luckily sizes here are a bit more forgiving. A bit.
Once i bought the cutest leather jacket in Italy. But, as I am 5'10" tall, the lady tutted and tsked over me and finally, with a flourish, brought out the jacket from back in storage saying "This is the largest size we carry. It is very big". She made me feel like a giant. It was a Italian size 46, and it was a bit tight in the shoulders, but i liked it so much I could not resist it. It's a very small jacket, barely waist length!
And as for shoes...fuhgedaboutit. Size 41's are not possible. At all.
But I have the same troubles with the small waist issue. I can wear a size 38 skirt, 40 dress but need 44 pants just to fit my bum. I don't know why they make clothes to fit boys when they are sold for women!
Drives me nuts.
I never buy pants here. Or rarely, I did splash out on some screamingly expensive pants at a shop by a Danish designer the other day. I still hyperventilate when I think of how much they cost, but when I put them on it's all better.
I save the jeans shopping for back home. Lucky brand jeans fit girls with curves really well.
And as for shopping in London, well, I do tend to save most of my non-US shopping for there, but the pound is so strong now, that a Gap shirt ends up costing almost twice what it would Stateside. The sales are brilliat though, and i have good luck with markets such as Spitalfields.
Great site--excellent writing and I really enjoy all you have to say!
Caffeinated cowgirl, seems like it's a problem everywhere--we need to start a revolution!
Karla, oh, let's not even start talking skirt vs. dress. vs. pants. How frustrating! Glad you found something you like even if your heart stops when you think of how much you paid...wear them early and often!
Ms Strega, thanks for stopping by and commenting :)
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