fun with statistics 101

Well if that title didn't hook you, you're my kind of person. I'm not fond of statistics myself--as the saying goes, anywhere from 1 to 100% of them are made up anyway.

But not those on my Google Analytics account! They tell me who's visiting my blog, where they're from, how long they stayed--and there are graphs and lines and bars, oh my!

What I find most interesting, though, is how my visitors find me.

Most searches are looking for information on malocchio, Italian superstitions, Italian language (yes, you can use "ciao" for hello and goodbye; "ciao bella" is "hello, beautiful"), life as an expat in Italy, Calabrian food, dialect, traditions, holidays, etc., recipes (banana cake, spaghetti aglio olio peperoncino, zeppole, rabbit), dog menstruation (a few searches looked specifically for "Luna Balloona"--is she *that* famous?), grandmothers, the JFK assassination, and seeing an old crush.

I couldn't have done a better job of summing up my life than that right there.

What's that? You want a gratuitous Luna photo? Twist my arm! OK, OK.


Moving on.

Once before I tried to answer some questions that came up in my stats, and I think it's time again. Oh, and for the people (that's plural) who continue to wonder about smoking basil, please go here as it's been, in legal terms, asked and answered.

(1) Do snails bleed?

I believe Shakespeare already covered this general premise in "The Merchant of Venice," but if I have to spell it out: yes.

(2) Why do anchovy [sic] appear to be yawning?

Because they're light sleepers and have disrupted REM sleep, which leads to inadequate rest. Accordingly, they appear to be yawning because they are. They swim around all day trying to accomplish anchovy goals (including but not limited to staying out of fishing nets), and they get run down just like the rest of us. Cut them some slack, would you?

(3) Why do Italians go to Nana's every day?

Because they love her, dammit!

Aside from questions, sometimes a kindred spirit finds me: "I hate Telecom." Sing it my brother/sister!

Other times I just get a prompt for a short story: "Nutella and her hot friend waiting for you."

And, when I'm extra lucky, I even get unsolicited advice (this from two different locations): "Never try to teach a cat algebra, it frustrates you and annoys the cat."

Duly noted.